Tuesday, June 4, 2013


...here's what I know.

At the age of five, a girl is taken from her mother, deemed unfit to raise her child.  Mother suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, often seen ranting about on the front stoop.  Neighbors complain to the authorities of her lewd behavior, tossing dirty laundry out of her second story window, screaming at alarmed families venturing by her residence at night.

She refuses her medication, arguing that it makes her sleepy.  Fights a court order to be hospitalized, and manages to scrape by, mentally unstable, yet savvy enough to live off her neighbors's tax dollars.

The young girl is placed in a foster home, her mother declared unable to ever care for her daughter for the remainder of her childhood.  

The courts however, allow weekly visits to continue, despite terminating mother's parental rights.

This act alone dissuades any potential adoptive parents from offering the girl a chance at a real family.

Years drag on like grass clippings in a weary breeze.  The girl ages to a teenager, bounces around from one home to the next, settling in, moving out...and continues to visit her mother.

At fifteen, she finds a family willing to adopt, on one condition.  No more visits with the birth mother.

Mother hires a lawyer, goes to court, and wins.  Visitations continue.  

The girl lets her grades slide.  Begins acting out in school, getting into fights, facing suspension.  She tells her foster parents that she can't control herself, that she feels "crazy" at times.  She tries to run away...is caught, demands to be moved, blows out of another home three months later...

A year limps by, and the girl now resides in a therapeutic home, doors locked at night from the outside, constant supervision, no time for play.

And the visits with Mom continue...

...I know of a young boy, three at the time, who is taken into care after his father beats him to a pulp for waking him up one night with a belly ache.

The boy spends two years in care, settling in with a family who adores him, yearn to have him as their son.  They push Children's Services to fight for full custody.  Hire their own lawyer, wage a custody battle with a set of birth parents struggling to sober up, to keep a job, to maintain a residence...and lose.

The boy is returned to his birth parents.

Three months later the boy is beat to death by his father, who now sits in prison.  

I wonder if he ever thinks of his son...while he sits there, thinking.

...here's what I believe.

...in this world we live in, the majority of  females, regardless of species, is at some point in their life, capable of reproduction.  Gifted with the ability to create life.

Where we as a society continue to fail, is in the belief of motherhood.  Giving birth to a child does not make one a mother.  The title of Motherhood is a noble accomplishment...one that is earned, not granted.    

When will we learn?  When?





Morgan said...

Sounds like a winner to me!

Donna Hole said...

Life at any cost; procreation is a right, defended by a multitude of religious and political forums.

I don't believe in abortion as a form of birth control; but forced sterilization is another issue for me. And not just for women who pop out kid after kid for the welfare money; for the men who father and abandon child after child after child.

Yep, the system sucks.


Sally said...

A sad reflection on our times today. The two cases you've cited seem to adhere more to the rights of the birth parents than the needs, wishes and safety of the child.

Jemina said...

and true..the fantasy of every child these days is to have a childhood..the fun the learning process by making mistakes seems alien to them...either they are expected to be perfect from their birth itself or they end up as u have reflected in your post..

Jemina said...


Elise Fallson said...

Here are two examples taken from a sea of broken children, that could have been saved, if only... so so sad. Will we ever learn? I don't know. I look at the world around me, and I'm pessimistic. But when I look at my children, I want to be optimistic--for them.

Elliot Grace said...

Hey Morgan, it's all about common sense and simply doing what's right. Thanks for dropping by!

Hey Donna, I know for certain how this subject is near and dear to your heart, and am gracious for your input. Someday perhaps we'll get this mess figured out, making it easier for both of us, the worker & the foster, at making the proper choices. Thanks so much for stopping by ;)

Hey Sally, it's an ongoing struggle that predates many issues of lesser importance that have ended up in the Supreme Court. And yet so many turn a blind eye at something so very important. Very sad.

Hey Jemina, so true, so very true.

Hey Elise, sad indeed, and as a foster parent, I hear of similar stories at every meeting my wife and I attend. It seems as though in order to make change we must move mountains. Therefore I say, in that case, let's start pushing.

Thanks all for your thoughts!


Anne Gallagher said...

Oh, El. I'm so sorry. I don't know how you do it but I'm glad there are people like you and your wife to take care of kids like these.

DEZMOND said...

we will probably never learn

Elliot Grace said...

Hey Anne, thanks so much for your kind words. As the title of my post states, this is about awareness, about the stories we hear of in our meetings, and those we see, up close and personal. We can do better. We owe it to ourselves, as intelligent people, to do better.

Hey Dez, I hope you're wrong. Thanks for stopping by ;)


Adeeva Afsheen said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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